Hmmmmmm. Interesting choice of words, "rush". Maybe what I am experiencing is like the letdown that follows the adrenaline rush I get when I complete a song. You finish, you're on top of the world for a few hours or days, then the doubt crash sets in. If that's what's going on, that makes me more hopeful ... the doubt crash always evens out too.
Trust me, I know it's a lot more than reading, even a lot more than *seeing* ... it's been the *seeing* patterns of thought clearly that's been so intoxicating. I know it's going to take years to unknot the tangle of habitual responses formed from those obsolete patterns of thought.
I just started to feel like I was hitting an invisible wall .... *already!* ... and can't quite understand why ... not that I expect anyone to have the answers to that.
Guess the mind really doesn't want to let go of what it knows, however counterproductive .... not without a struggle anyhow.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
