Thanks, ISLH and Cinders, for your thoughts and prayers for S32. I would be nice if I could make the trip but I am doubtful that I can swing it. The trip to Virginia when he was diagnosed really put me over the top for debt. I have taxes due next month and don't know where the money will come from for those. I am praying and I know that the Lord will provide.
H came to pick S17 up for dinner yesterday. I did a 180 in I went outside and gave H some mail that came here for him. Usually I send it will one of our Ss. We chatted and I was happy and relaxed. When we were talking I was looking him straight in the eyes and he wasn't looking away. That is an improvement.
I spent 4 hours cleaning out S20's room since he went back to school. I was a mess but will now be easier to keep clean.
Have a great weekend.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
I did a 180 in I went outside and gave H some mail that came here for him. Usually I send it will one of our Ss. We chatted and I was happy and relaxed. When we were talking I was looking him straight in the eyes and he wasn't looking away.
Wow, that's awesome that you felt confident to do the 180. Good job! It's nice to hear that he looked at you. He must be feeling more comfortable with you now. Have a great weekend. ~PH
Well, I finally realized what my problem was yesterday. It was the second anniversary H moving out. I met with my pastor yesterday and after talking with him, I feel much better and have support in my stand for my marriage.
I have almost made it through another birthday alone. S17 managed to get some flowers for me. He had a friend pick them up for him. I don't know how he is going to pay for them. I don't have much for food but I will have to find something to cook for dinner. I miss the days where H took me out on my birthday and I never had to cook.
I haven't heard a single word from IL's or S32 and S20, of course, my birthday has not been acknowledged by H either. I was hoping but didn't really expect it. I am sure he has to save his money for heroin's birthday at the end of the month. Thank goodness it is almost over.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
Well, here is a huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, from me! I am glad your S17 remembered ... quite something for a male to do, so you must be so proud of him.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
S32 and S20 finally called me around 9 pm. I am still glad this day is almost over. I think S17 called H because he was angry at him for not calling him back yesterday. He was calling him about getting me something for my birthday. H is really in the selfish mode right now. It bothers me that he puts the boys through this kind of crap.
Have a great evening.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
ANM, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Sorry that it's hard for you. I am glad that S17 got you some flowers and that your other 2 sons did call you. Yep, just have low expectations of your H for now, for your own sake. I do know how much it hurts though. Hope you have a good rest-of-the day. Can you find something to do that would make you feel happy? A favorite piece of music/song? A favorite movie or DVD or book? Love, PH
Here's sending you warm birthday wishes--you are in our thoughts and prayers and even though your heart is aching, always know that people here love you and care about you. And that God is in control.
Sending you Godiva chocolates...................
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19