How Can I Possibly Restore THIS?

[JustDucky]

Thanks for your responses- sorry I wasn't here to write sooner. The reason that I was uncomfortable writing on this forum (or any forum) is that PRIOR to the advertising campaign mentioned earlier, there were very few people who believed this story. They could not imagine that a presecribed drug (non-narcotic or addicting by it's nature) could do so much harm. The consensus was that I was in control of my behavior and I should take personal responsibility for it. They could not understand that I had no more control over my behavior than I have over the lunar cycle. Even long time , close friends bashed me. So, I get a little gun-shy. I tell my story out of desperation.

I have decided against calling him. However, my MC seems to think that it would be okay to send an e-mail, making a request to go fishing. (About 10 days ago, out of the blue, H sent me a picture of himself that was taken while he was fishing a few weeks back. It kind of blew me away that he sent the picture because at the moment that he was sending the picture (based on the time the e-mail was sent), I was at work telling a friend that I was having trouble getting a clear picture of H's face in my head!)

And with no kids between us, and little to discuss about the D, except through lawyers, the lines of communication can close forever, so quickly. For him, it's a matter of closing the door and moving on. Boy, does that thought scare me. And if he let some of his anger go, he MIGHT see that there MIGHT be a chance for us. If he allowed himself to open up a little, he MIGHT see that I have been making some very positve changes- changes that are definitely good for me, and definitely good for a relationship. (The old GAL thing!) But I also think that he is SO afraid of getting hurt again... closing the door, is easier. No risk. Predictable outcome, even if it is not a good one. And that makes me sad.