H called me tonight. I know I'm not supposed to pick up, but I did, but I think I did good. There was no begging, pleading, or even crying. Okay, so last Monday he sent me a TM that said he can't say he is sorry enough...now this Monday he's calling me asking me how I am? I think that he even less over me than I am over him. He lead most of the conversation because I am detaching and I am not getting sucked back in. For a man who doesn't want to be with me, he sure does care a lot about what I'm doing and how I am. We have some of the most bazaar conversations. I bet he mentioned something about me dating other men 5 times during our conversation. I kept my composure...joked around a little, but I did get one jab in at him and he definately deserves it. It went like this.. H: So you seeing a new guy. M: No, I can't do that. H: What do you mean? M: I said I'm still married to you and I can't do that. I need to get this all wrapped up first. H: Well, I guess technically you are married to me, but that shouldn't hold you back...a woman has needs. M: Yeah that's overrated...I can't sleep with someone else while we're still married.
That piece of the conversation ended with silence...think that hit a little too close to home. He was heading home to the house that he lives with OW in and been sleeping with her for 10 months now. I was thinking the truth hurts doesn't it.
He also mentioned in the conversation that he took this all too far. I agreed (he has taken it too far, I am not telling him any different). He followed up with I wish I could just rewind time because I would do things a lot differently, but he said you can't go back only forward. I agreed again. He said this is all so crazy. I agreed again. Glad to see that he and I are finally on the same page. To sum it up, he screwed up our marriage and he just kept screwing up over and over to the point that it isn't salvageable and now he realizes that. I think I'm married to an idiot. Maybe he should have done one thing to help our marriage over the last 10 months, and things could have been different, but as he said...he took it too far.
He's supposed to be coming over this weekend to get some more stuff. I just have to stay strong and realize that he not worth it and that I deserve better.
