Wife's MLC - Looking for Answers

[Not w/o Hope]

AKFLY
Sorry your here, I read your sitch and it almost reads like mine. My W too is unhappy with her spot in life and I got the same speech.
Currently my W stays at our cottage as well thur - mon or sometimes tue morning. When our work schedules conflict one of us stays somewhere else, I only get weekends off every 6 weeks.

IMP is dead on, this will take a long time if you have not realized it yet, I am on the 3rd month and missed the little signs of progress at the very start and ended up screwing things up and pushing her so far away that we barely talk now. You have Labor day coming up for was like my sitch, the 4th of July with her whole family coming up. No one knew we were separated but 1 bro and 1 sis, I felt like crap the whole weekend. When everyone was gone I tried to work on the R, she blew. I called it like a saw it, a charade, big mistake I should have bite my tongue. It made her angry and bitter and ended up taking her ring off since she now had her reason to believe that our M was a charade.

Here is what I learned
Time and space are important for the MLC, like I said we barely talk now.
No R talk ever, she is not ready for it and it usually back fires. Let the C work on her issues. We are also seeing separate C and W just recently asked me to setup a MC session together, which I couldn't believe because an hour before she told me she was leaning towards D.
I quite drinking all together, just made me feel worst.
Set some small goals and look for the little signs that she is still deciding, you guys are still talking that is good.
Read DB or DR then re-read it, high light the important parts so you can go back to them.
If you are still in the same house, kind of like my sitch try and make it a safe place for the W that she can come to and not feel anxiety.
Watch the kids, they need someone as well, if that is you be there for them.
If you are a person that needs to be in control like me, you will have to work very hard at letting go, hardest thing I have done so far. You have no control what so ever over her. If you try to control her she will run faster and farther, trust me.
Read the MLC dos and don'ts
Your storm is just beginning and it's hell. Your patience will be tested over and over again, mine is almost daily.

Good luck