I'm sorry for your pain. Your emotions (all 1,001 of 'em) are o/c normal and you should accept them &, as you said, let them flow. You will, however, not always feel the way you do right now. They will not - CANnot - last. (And that's the funny thing about how our WAS is so absolutely positive about their sitch stance!)
I know you are not at a place to consider your next step, besides following W's lead thru to D - but, DLT, you are not w/o control here! Honestly. When you are ready, consider whether you will (or want to, or should...) put forth the effort necessary to try to save your R a/o M, improve your sense of your own self (respect, worth, etc), and (maybe not the least important) use this sitch as a learning opportunity to make yourself a happier, healthier & better person whether you stay M'd to your W or not.
You said yourself, W does not know how much time it will take [to D]. You DO have time on your side. If you want to work on the M, there is plenty to be done. Yes, your hoped-for scenerio would have had W saying that she wanted to stay M'd -- but, honestly, w/o learning what you (and she ultimately) need to (thru introspection, reading, counseling & DBing), your M will - at BEST - remain the same & prolly have a good chance of getting right back to right where you're at. Reading DR, you know it can be done when only one party is doing the "working". Think about what you want. We'll be here for you however you need.
Take care of yourself. Sleep, eat, breathe (in & out, in & out --NikkiB had to remind me of that often in my early days). I'll check on you soon.
