In the beginning, it is very hard to stay calm and detach. What got me through was the people on the these boards who told me what to do in order not to make the same mistakes they did. I stopped R talk almost immediately....well about a month after H left. I acted as if around him and always looked nice when he came over and never ever mentioned anything I did with my friends. You have to force it right now, eventually acting as if and detaching will come...you don't feel like that is the best right now. As soon as you internalize it better you will begin to want to do things on your own and look forward to it. Trust me!! Just when I finally became ok with my D...almost 6 months after H left he decided he wanted to come home, He said my changes made him worry that I could go on without him....I no longer need him...I chose to want him. You will get there...I think the more you act mysterious around H the more you will see the distancer/pursuer action happening. Right now you are not giving him anything to miss... Sorry this is rambling...I just understand all too well where you are right now. I am here for support...this coaster takes so much patience, no assumptions and no expectations.
