The big bomb came when I had just had enough of her avoidance strategies, cornered her in the kitchen, and said "Look, just grow an (expletive deleted) spine and tell me what it is you need to tell me!" She responded by saying that she wanted to seperate from me.
Before you judge me, please remember that I was living in a state of abject misery. I had gained a lot of weight, was sleeping on averae about 3 hours a night, never saw her, and when I did she was, shall we say, less than nice to me.
Later, she blamed me for the seperation for "forcing" her to say it.
The waiting is killing me, I'm really getting tired of what my son is being put through, and I'm not having a great time myself (no matter what it may look like), but I feel like I just have to let her do something or it won't mean anything to her.
From an absolutely brutal, no holds barred view, I think this has already gone beyond the point of recovery: She is very sick, confused, whatever, and I just have to ignore virtually everything that I know to be true in order to function on a day to day basis. So what do I do now? (<-Rhetorical)
P.S. I'm not a religious person, though my whole world view has gone through a pretty significant shake up recently. Anywho, S is fascinated by a big church in the town square near MIL's house, and she has promised to take him there many times (not yet followed through). I myself performed a machine repair there last year, and recently took S for a walk-around tour of the site, but still no one has actually attended. Today, during the new 12pm call (MIL claims that the 10am call was too much trouble for her, great lady that), MIL told me that this Sunday, virtually everyone (W, MIL & SFIL, 2 sets of SILs and BILs) will be goint to services at this church, and invited me along. At one point, she said we could go as "the big, happy family that we will eventually be, no matter what".
Pissed me off pretty bad, but I knew better than to show it. Showed a lot of gratitude, even put a (admittedly, only partially feigned) quaver of emotion in my voice. I know it is a sign that everyone is trying their best to bring us back together, and that W has softened her position, but I'm just a nturally straight-forward kind of guy. All these games are really starting to wear on me.
I'll keep hanging in as best I can. A one-way ticket to Alaska is looking more and more inviting, though.
