Hi H - I agree w Stew. Your W is just trying everything in her power to justify to herself and everyone else what she's doing. Although, they might not show it they are dealing w a tremendous amount of guilt. Especially when it comes to the kids. I recently have had the same conv. with my w and told her that "it didnt seem like this was bothering her that much." She said "that she has had on her game face and that she has been suffering as well". I also agree w the power thing. If our WAW's have felt controlled or trapped in the R/M then all we can do is let them go. Relieve any pressure they are feeling. Unfortunately, sometimes this means ending the marriage all together. It's amazing how much pressure that little piece of paper creates. Once they are D and feel released then who knows if they will want to try again. I hear about people D and renewing their vows or just living together all the time. We just need to figure out if we can handle it. How bad do we want it? If my WAW never takes any responsibility for this I dont think I could ever really take her back. You will have to make that decision as well. Like everyone keeps telling me you will always have a relationship with her because of the kids. And you will always have a history together. Eventually, they will start remembering the good times instead of justifying their current actions with the bad.
Keep up the GAL, PMA and everything that supposed to happen will. Whether we want it to or not. As much as I've tried not being controling I know at some level I have always tried to control my future. I now realize you can't control your destiny it just happens. Go to your destiny my friend!
