Things are for the most part going smoothly, albeit at a low affection/intimacy level. Things have been busy with travel and working on house so it is not unexpected.
My W did come down from her hormone high, and has been somewhat distant. I did blunder severely and had another "talk" with her, which did nothing but make her defensive. I spent awhile kicking myself, but I got over it. I do feel resentment bubbling up from time to time, primarily because her low sex drive is accompanied by a low affection drive, but I'm doing my best to beat down my cravings as they do me no good. What I am trying hard to do is show my W that she can withdraw if she needs to and it won't throw me into the pit. It is hard to break old habits though.
I worry that I am slipping back into Nice Guy mode. I haven't been so good at enforcing my boundaries with the ILs, as they are very good at being "covert and manipulative" about trouncing them. The most recent time I attempt to verbalize my displeasure at a broken boundary, they ended up guilt-tripping my W about it and it was not a good situation all around. I knew this would be long and hard, gotta stick with it. I just have a hard time fighting their almost constant guilt-trips about nearly everything. Its hard to be "Who You Are" when the ILs (and to some degree the W from the ILs influence) don't like Who You Are and are trying to mold you into "Who They Want Their Daughter to be Married To" through (I'll have to admit) masterful manipulation.
I am coming to the realization though that unless something changes, the only way to enforce my boundaries with the ILs will be to move away from them. Unfortunately, I have this nagging gut feeling that that will result in ending my M. I hope I'm wrong.
Financially we have hit a few stumbling blocks. It has become increasingly clear that we will not make it on my professor salary with 3 kids unless either I take a second job or my W gets a job. So far we have been buttressed by a few grants that have fortuitously come in from my work, but all it will take is one dry year and we'll be in the hole. The W is having a hard time reconciling this with her life plan to be a SAHM that supplements our income with home craft projects. And at the same time she has recently ratcheted up the "I want another baby" talk. Ugh.
So, things are not as rosy as they were a few months ago, but they are better than they were a year ago.
Keep on keeping on.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
