Nomopo's Sitch - Patience, Patience, Patience

[Nomopo]

Often the steepest climb is between knowledge and action. Knowing you have these needs, that your natural instinct is to sweep them under the rug, what behaviour changes are you instituting for yourself that would mean you pause and acknowledge the need ? And then the harder bit, how are you, possibly through positive reinforcement of those around you, making it easier for them to meet these needs?

This is good stuff. This is the process I am working through presently. Thanks.

Third, I am doing some initial, preliminary thinking about what W and I will have to try to work on to make sure my needs are met in the event of a reconciliation. I fully understand that if we try to work on our M, we both have needs that were unmet before that need to be met this time.

I think this is along the lines of something I posted to SD yesterday. Lately I've noticed that my perspective is very different when I think of what I need from a life partner, versus when I frame my needs specifically with respect to NG. The latter is a valid short term, almost stop-gap measure. When I think of my ideal partner, then there are some facets that NG is going to need to develop, and he gets that only when I can do a bit of positive reinforcement. It works, just takes a lot of effort and yeah, patience [/quote]

Yeah. It's sobering. I don't think my W is as nurturing as I ince thought or assumed. And I guess someone can become more nurturing, but that seems like a large mountain to climb.

Therein lies the rub - we have to risk a little, and yes, apply discipline (this is a reminder to myself as well

Good stuff.

It took a long time to settle into a new pace, and I have to say, it has been worth the effort.

That is inspiring because some days I think I should throw in the towel and move on.

Nomo