Lillieperl
Thanks,(sincerely) for the obvious, direct response. IMO I was not punishing him as he was not attempting anything, he rolled over and went to sleep. I was depriving myself and I think NJ nailed it with "...psychologically, I wasn't ready to be that close with H at that moment"
No, I am not considering my marriage sex "starved" but we do go through some droughts that I am taking responsibility for, for the most part, and reading the BB has helped me to figure out a few reasons and things to change.

Martelo-
"It's interesting to note that you were still sexually interested after a confrontation. Something that some of the men may find counter intuitive or just plain surprising if they have always tried to placate and keep things calm in the hope of a possible sexual " payoff ".
I can't speak for anyone other than myself, of course, but I would say for me, my Drive and need for touch are very high after combat. 99.9% of the time we have make-up sex. Now, that I have typed that I am thinking H gave me the cold shoulder and was punishing me

Haphazard- I guess I picked the wrong F

Cemar - You really confuse me!!!!You ALWAYS talk of wanting to have desire from your wife? Do you really mean you just want her to be horny or do you really want her to desire YOU? Again, IMO, these are different, just like sex & ML. I could have had sex last night (well, maybe) but I am pretty sure it would not have started as making love

NJ - Thanks, for your thoughts, again. I find myself in a similar mindset but you are way further ahead of the game. I'm still quite a work in progress but these boards really help.
NJ_"I am getting to a place where I like the idea that I can modulate my desire; I think this is what I am looking to do, because I just FINALLY realized this "I know with work I can get to a HD place, and I also know that sometimes it's inappropriate to be HD."

Cemar, I would also be interested in the answer to NJ's question
"Why do you say that you should desire your spouse even when he/she doesn't merit it?"

I am fairly new to posting so I hope I have done the quote stuff correctly, please bear with me on technical stuff and THANKS to everyone for the response.

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. (Amy Bloom)