HB, great to hear from you. I am so glad to hear that your M is growing stronger because of this crisis.
M 38, H 38, two sons Met 20 years ago Married 13 years Bomb: Oct, 2006 DB: Started in Dec, 2006 H moved out for 3 weeks in Mar, 2007 H back home and piecing?
I like to think I will not ever settle again - I feel this crisis we went through had to happen in order to be with H for the rest of my life. We are a new couple - a new family and we continue to grow each day.
How well put. I ditto that.
Like you I am still guarded at times; I guess it comes from having been hurt so badly BUT there is so much to look forward to aswell.
My H and I make sure we continue to 'date' and in makes a big difference. I love our 'us' time together.
I am so glad for you and your family
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
H is gone to be with his best friend from 5th grade - he helped get my H out of his hole - would not let him quit. So he's a good allie for my H to be around for four days! H says he misses me - that's good too!
I am off to a Kenny Chesney concert at Ford Field in Detroit this weekend - 5 bands in total. Four of us girls are getting a suite downtown so we can do it up right!! At least I will not be sitting home just waiting for H.
Like you I am constantly out in the infidelity board too - I feel for so many I have seen go through to much sh*t over the last year... Even here in the piecing board there seems to be a lot of negatives lately - I feel for them too...
What was really hard was seeing the photos that Husband put together - I loved putting faces with names - but it is so sad to see all these beautiful families just falling apart!
I am grateful of where I am at with my H and kids - I WILL NEVER TAKE IT FOR GRANTED AGAIN!
We are to celebrate our 17th wedding anniversay on 9/15/07 - it is still surreal - never thought we'd make it....I am afraid I am going to wake up and find out I have been dreaming the last 7 weeks...wow time flies in DB Land!!
Have a great weekend! HB
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
I think that is the biggest lesson we need to learn from all of this -- never take our M for granted. It's so easy to do w/ daily life, work, kids, house, etc., etc. and that's what ends up happening. Our M's got put last and it just can't be that way. I have reminders on my computer at work "NEVER FORGET" "Encouragement, support compassion"
I just don't think that after all we have all been through that we will ever forget the lessons we've learned and that truly is the positive that has come from going through this h*ll and coming out on the other side.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
My H has just gone away for four days to a rock festival with some other guys - they are all husbands of mutual couple friends that have supported us throughout. They are all pro marriage - phew!!
I am going over with some of the other wives on Sunday for just one day of the festival. We decided we didn't want to suffer the mud and awful toilet conditions for the full festival time
I know what you mean about seeing all those families in the pictures. My heart really goes out to all those guys that are DBing their hearts out and if they are successful they then have to move onto the piecing which as you rightly say isn't always a bed of roses.
My H told me about his A just a couple of months before our 20th Wedding Anniversary. I now truly believe that aslong as good health permits we will see our 25th, 30th and so on........
Like you, I will never take it for granted again.
You have a great weekend too
Saffie
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
HB is so good to get an update of your sitch. I have followed it from the beginning as I have felt that we had a lot in common.
I can remember on 1/13/07 saying "This is a bad dream." I can't believe what is happening. I'm going to wake up. This can't be true
Isn't it wonderful that you aren't dreaming. I hope my sitch turns out as good as yours. I believe it will. I'm just a couple of months behind you. I think I'm moving to the piecing forum. Wish me luck and lots of prayers.
Faith
H 48 W 57 M 15 yrs T 18 yrs No children EA 1/12/06 Moved out 3/10/07 & 8/16/07 Back on 5/18/07 2nd Thread
Hi HB, First - So happy things are going well for you and that you can celebrate this anniversary in happiness!
I do have a question for you.. When did your H stop lying about the ow? I have have told my H over and over just to be truthful with me and he does his "lies of ommission" song and dance and carries on as if everything is wonderful with us. It's driving me insane - sometimes I really do feel like I'm a nut case! He'll call me to try to cover his tracks but there is something out of the norm so I know he's lying or leaving something out. I feel almost as if we're getting close to the "point of no return". Where even if he were truthful, I wouldn't believe him.
The sad thing is that we have had some really good times and conversations in the past week and all I can think is that it's a bunch of bs. Just curious if you have felt this way at some point.
Thanks Theo! I am very thankful things have turned out the way they have for me - us...it is so scary how close we came to the D path - if we would have filed I doubt I would have backed down - my heart could not take another beating...
Lovely Olive,
The pattern with my H is he would get VERY sad or mean to me when OW was pushing him. He was good at omitting that they had started up, but each time when I confronted him he would admit it and not lie. He just waited until I pulled it out of him. This last go around started up mid may and I knew by Memorial day they were at it again (after a 6-8 week hiatus where he and I were connecting). The thing is they need to keep fueling this addiction at the costs of their whole lives with us..it is so sad but the selfishness they are at is not even understandable to us LBS's. I think my H finally snapped out of it when his OW was manipulating him (which was really all along - but now he could recognize it for what it was). I am not saying he did not have a hand in their whole sorid existence - just that each time he tried to pull away she would reel him back in. Hopefully some day he will tell me what was the final straw that broke his back - for now he's not ready to admit what really ended it. He says he feels stupid for starting it back up in May...
Overall we are doing great - I am still somewhat guarded. I fear I am going to wake up and this has all been a dream for the last 7 weeks... I also am afraid of the rug being pulled from underneath me. But I cannot live on 'what ifs' so I am taking each day for what it is worth...I am thankful to be given this chance to fix 'us'!!!
I wonder how your sitch would be diff if you two could live apart? Maybe then your H would see what his life would really be like w/out you...I know DB'ing says not to separate - but I belive that helped my H get through it sooner...
Take care and I hope you are taking care of YOU!!
HB
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
I wonder that, too HB. H still won't move out even though ow is divorced. He is now acting like the A is just "casual contact". In the meantime, ow is coming on strong and acting like his wife.. buying gifts, baking muffins, stuff like that. In between the lies, I get treated very well. H does stuff for me that would be very meaningful if he'd actually stop the A and stop lying.
