I know exactly how you feel. It feels simultaneously great and humbling to have that "A-HA!" moment. Great that you finally truly understand how you got to where you are. Humbling in that you feel like somewhat of an idiot/doofus for your role in getting to where you are (at least for me, anyway).
Just don't be like me and try to convince your H that you feel it's a different world. I've somewhat desperately (OK, desperately) tried to communicate that I feel different inside to my W. It ain't working.
Enjoy the hard-earned wisdom.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
