You have been asking various forms of the same question for far too long now. ("How can someone who says they want to leave have good moments like this?")
You will most likely never get the answer you are looking for.
PLEASE stop focusing on him and what he is doing. I hate to see you get your hopes up just to come crashing down yet again.
Oh, and by the way, you should rethink that position of doing things for him (in this case, the massaging) with no thoughts of getting anything in return. Marriage is give and take. Do you REALLY want to go through your whole life just giving and never receiving anything in return? If you don't, then don't act like that just to "win" him back. It won't work.
HSS, how about posting about you instead of him. And about you means just that- YOU. Not your dealings with him, not your reactions (or lack of) to him.
I feel like I am on your back far too much, and for that reason I don't want to post to you anymore.
If all you want is for someone to write to you and say, "HSS, it sure sounds as though he doesn't want to leave you," then just keep posting in the same manner. If you want to get stronger and be prepared for the long haul, then you are going to have to dig in and start some serious self analysis.
I have asked you tons of questions that you just ignore. You just keep posting about what your H is doing.
Put yourself in the role of another DBer, and read your posts. What advice would you give to yourself?
And for the record, this board is full of people that had sex with their ex days or even hours before he or she (the ex) left for good. I know you want your H's actions to mean something, but they really just don't right now.
