At the moment, I pay for everything (except the airplane ticket). I told her I'd have nothing to do with the ticket, even if we got back together, I'm not paying a dime towards the travel costs. So far she has been putting it on credit, and he's been wiring her the money to pay it off. Our last therapy session was just before the trip, I'm not sure if she'll be willing to continue going since she doesn't want to work on the relationship anymore. I prefer not to talk to her about the other guy as little as possible, so if she brings up plans to fly out, I usually change the subject, not sure if that's the right thing to do though.
I've thought about 'taking' the cell phone back & turning it off until she paid me the costs of de-activation but I don't want to feel like I'm controlling her. I had some issues in the past with being controlling but have since worked through those via private counseling. I'm also trying to be careful to not drive a wedge between us.
And thank you, I do realize the mistakes I've made and have changed my old bad habits, and will never go back to those again. She does notice the changes but again, feels they came too late and there's nothing left in her heart for me. She's used the analogy of her love being a fire that burned out and you can't re-light ashes. :'(
I'm thinking of trying the Last Resort Technique to the fullest, but again, I have my fears.
