I think this is a good thing to do, sounds like you are helping your friend out in a very caring and careful manner.
I hope I am helping him and not hurting his chances at reconciling. His kids are older then mine and the pain on their faces is much more evident compared to my younger children.
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I am sure your W has to see the changes in you, if your friend is seeing it. Right now, it is all just about the waiting game.
I really do not know what my W sees anymore. As for waiting...I really do not want to sit around holding onto some false sense of hope. Sure I prefer my W, but I know that I will be fine without her. My pain now a days is for my little girls. They do not deserve a broken home.
Super Dad,
I browsed your thread a little last night and your goal setting is awesome - keep at it.
As the DBing goes, Yes, I have backslide some. To be honest I have just been in survival mode around my W. I just want to keep things civil and light.
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Nobody said it would be easy or fun, but it is the only way out of this sitch with your integrity and self-respect in tact.
Thanks for the DB reminder.
mkultra,
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If anything, we can bust our friends' divorces!
That is my hope with my friend or anybody else that confides in me in the future about D.
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Remember how your kids will look back and think of you.
Exactly, not only do I want my girls to be able to look at me as a man with integrity, I want them to have a high standard set by me for who they M in the future.
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but you need to surround yourself with some real people who do not sleep around.
I have some really good friends that I respect that are men of integrity that I confide in. They are for me and my M to my W. There just is not a magic bullet out there to make my W want to recommit to our M.
Journaling: I did not get to see my girls this weekend, since my W spent the night at her parents house the last couple of nights and will again tonight. The puppy woke me up at 3:15am and would not go back to sleep which made it difficult for me to get an more sleep. I will be picking my girls up tonight and will have them for a few hours before I bring them back to my IL's house. I really wonder if this is how things are going to go until our D is final. But maybe not, I do have my girls at our house tuesday threw this coming weekend. I will make the most of our time.
I am also thinking of sending an email to my W, stating a lot of my feelings that I have been holding in. I know that it will not bring her back to our M, but, at least it will not start an argument where she and I get defensive.
I guess it is normal for me to feel lonely not having someone to talk to that knows everything about me. I miss holding my W's hand, talking with her about what is going on in our lives, holding her, watching TV with her, doing projects around the house with her. I guess I miss all the little things that come with a loving R. I miss having a true companion in my life.
