Whoaaaaaaoooaaoooaa...you are trying to control the running of the bulls in Spain and you will be the one to be trampled...have you ever seen them run?...Do they look scared or what?...Do they looked confused?...Do they have direction?...Meet your W!
You are trying to look at a runaway train and tell it to stop...
You are assuming way way way too much...she could have a different OM, several OM, no OM...you don't KNOW you are ASS-U-ME-ing and YOU NEED TO STOP!!!...that you can control...
You are obsessed with your wife's lonliness...obviously she felt lonely with you which is why you are where you are...she has stepped close to you...are your reactions different...are you giving her space...or are you sharing with her your ideas on what she is doing with her life like you have here...actions speak louder then words and if your actions are speaking for you you don't need to write that letter for her to know what you are thinking about her...
My friend...what YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY need to work on is patience and understanding the OTHER PERSON'S (your W)feelings...I suspect your W is testing you in this area (and yes she sounds like she is in a MLC but could be repeating her past actions from 1st marriage in which case you had better act differently then 1st H)...my H was gone for nearly 2 years...he would go for months with NO CONTACT...and we had children!!!....he needed his space...he didn't miss me...he didn't give me signs of hope...you need to have patience...your W is begging you to let her go...if you do and she returns then it will be HER decision...the one thing my H wanted was for things to be HIS DECISION!!!...he didn't want anyone to think I coerced him to do anything...
I can tell you that if you continue on in your assumptions, whether they are true or not, your checking up on her at 4 am in the morning, thinking about her and OM...you will not only drive yourself crazy but you will succeed in driving your W away permanently...
A month is NOT a long time in the life of a MLC'er...and should it come and go...should she decide she has had enough...you need to dig your heels in more and hang on because this ride is going to get bumpier...very very very few MLC'ers return home in a month...and if they do it isn't to stay and the next exit is usually much uglier...
Right now your W needs reassurance from you...reassurance that you are strong and not needy (which by the way you sound really really needy too and maybe you need to focus on why)...that you can love unconditionally...that you will give her time and space...that you will trust her to make the right (final) decision...that you will excuse her mistakes...and that nothing is totally unforgiveable (depends upon you...but God forgives those who repent and seek it...BUT he doesn't go running after them and asking them if they want it!)
I know I sound harsh...but trust me...I have been in your shoes...and I have walked the path you are starting down...and unless you get hold of yourself...GAL...start looking to yourself to see what changes you NEED to make so that you are attractive (not talking all physical here)...make lasting changes because YOU feel they are good for YOU and not JUST to win your W back...you will keep repeating the same misery over and over until one of you files and is granted a DIVORCE!!!
So calm down...and do some soul searching...and get some patience...patience....patience...patience....did I mention you need to get some patience???
No matter how bleak this all looks...because mine was really bleak and dark for like a year and a half...this battle can be fought...and it can be won...I am proof!
