I want to thank all of you, old and new friends for writing, even though I don't write back like I used to. My day starts at about 7 AM and ends at 10PM. I wish the insurgents would take a personal day once in a while. Oh well.
Believe it or not, it's easier to be in Iraq with a huge sense of purpose than to be back in my shi&&y little garage apartment while my family lived 5 miles down the road in my $600K house. I still have about 11 months here, and although I miss my kids, my mental state is so much better IN IRAQ! Can you believe that? I don't get to write much, so I apologize, but I love to hear from you.
W. never emails, although at each leg of the trip here, she did say she was glad I made I safely, and did say she hoped I was OK last email. The most emotion out of her in 2 years.
For those of you new to my saga, without going through the whole gyration, W. told me in July 05 that she was "miserable, that we had nothing in common, that I wasn't a bad guy, but I just didn't satisy her emotional needs" Thinking back, yeah, probably didn't do that. The whole languages of love, etc. Guilty as Charged. The frustrating part of this is that it's so fixable, it's painful. My mental sate deteriorated over the next few months as I spiraled into total despair. I went over the edge mentally as I saw my family disintegrate and tried to check out though prescription meds. Those of you who have been here for a while know the whole ugliness of that, and many of you can probbaly understand the anxiety and despair. In addition my oldest daughter was out of control and needed to be sent to a school in Utah, where she is now. About 7K a month...... Thank goodness my pay is tax free here.
Mark, our W.s sound a lot alike. W. can hold a grudge (and often does) for YEARS! I can think of at least three women that she has totally alienated over the last 3 years over insignificant shi&.
mkultra, Being: Welcome to my thread. Thanks for your support. cat03: I'm really sorry to hear that things are not going well. You have been writng me for a long time now. I remember your story I'm so sorry. Any idea where COG hs been?
I'm not sure how to stop this spiral of noncommunication with W. I call and just speak withkids recently. She is so calcified, it's ridiculous. She can't even be human. I send the kid postcard every other day.
I get emails from a few women I work with, one of who I know is interested in me, and I may be in her if things don't work out. I do write them all back. Not a marriage proposal, and just an update, but it's good to here from other females. I have been celibate for 4 years now, and it really sucks. Not that that will chnage here, but man....life is so passing me by.
Anyway, I beleive this experience will change me for the better no matter what happens. Not for patriotism, not for glory, but for those on my left and my right.
