CVA - Angels vs. Devils

[waw1978]

Glad you vented this all out here and not to W. You are justified in feeling the way you do. I cannot imagine what its like to be “taken care of” by another person. That’s just not me. I don’t think WAW’s who H’s work their tails off to provide for her and the family know just how good they have it. She should not be lying about spending. Period. Married or separated its wrong. I can see how tough it can be for you being called to carpet for your faults but because you are DB’ing and trying to mend fences you have a hard time confronting her about her spending without serious backslide.

You have your own apt that you are footing the bill for correct? I would have all your mail sent to your new place…Since W doesn’t pay the bills why should she be looking at them? You are supporting two households on your own. If you two D, she will need to become sufficient managing her own affairs. I know it sounds punitive but in all reality these WAW’s that I hear about on this site need a real kick in the a$$ when it comes to finances. There isn’t a money tree in the backyard that CVA magically does and harvests from every week…

You can’t always be the one giving in and changing, it will make you resentful. You will need to tactfully have a conversation about her spending if it’s a problem. If you are getting behind and she is still spending like it’s a shopping spree…nip it in the bud before you are so resentful that you just boil over.