Lessons from a former WAS

[thegoodfight]

Amy,

I replied on your thread! I don't know for sure what you so do, I offered some thoughts. Do what you think you should do, or do nothing and give it some time until you are ready to decide.

This weekend was up and down, Saturday was nice but W. seems to be more involved with her own activities than anything else. She continues to take calls and leaves the room so no one can hear what she is talking about. One minute she talks about a future and the next she withdraws and avoids any type of emotional contact.

I have decided that tonight I will attempt to have a conversation with her, since nothing seems to be changing, instead of giving choices this time, I will offer what I would like to do. The current techniques and mindset is not offering enough positive results so I am going to attempt something different.

I have decided and the opportunity has presented itself that we spend more time apart, since she seems to be uncomfortable most of the time with us together recently. Our baby sitter has fallen through again and I am going to suggest she work all nights and alternate weekends with our S.

I am not going to pretend this is totally selfless, since the situation is starting to cause me to feel resentment and anger! Before I say something I will regret, I am going to suggest this.

I have decided that it is necessary in order for any hopes of reconcilation in the future that I try and put a stop to the resentment I am feeling! It bothers me that things she was admintally against in the past, she is now just fine with it. Some of thoughts she currently has are that she feels like she is settling and that working on it together means she is giving up happiness.

I of course know this mindset is ridiculous since I have been there also, but I also know what I did was cause resentment in her and now she is doing the same to me! I realize this and I am going to put a stop to it! She is struggling with her wants and if truely look at it, she can deal with having to make the decision right now. Therefore I will intiate what I believe to at least be a different approach and I positive if nothing else is my S. will be with one or the other almost the entire time.