Hi there Nomo - I'm touched, you talked about my musings with your C Glad it helps. You know I come here for my affirmation fix, don't you ;\)

Originally Posted By: Nomopo
This came up in IC this morning. We think one day, when she is re-engaged/re-invested in the M, she will be able to admit this, but not right now. IC said W is in huge denial about some things, including this. So, this goes on the backburner for a while.


NG to this day has not sat down and walked me through what happened. The closest I got came about 4 months after he wrote the 'final email' to ow. Her H had called our home and ranted. By then I was well into dbing, and did not bat an eyelid. Just let him deal with it. After filing a police report ( the call had been quite abusive)he just looked up and offered - how could I have done this to you, with tears in his eyes. That was it. But in his actions, he has been doing all the right things. His belief, as he put it to me, is that words are cheap, and it is only through actions that he can pursue a more authentic relationship. A die-hard Martian, my H So, I guess this is a heads-up, depending on how W processes these poor choices she has been making, she may just want to move on, and not dwell on amplifying the pain.

Originally Posted By: Nomopo via warm&sunny
on a subconscious level mostly, if not entirely (I didn't realize it until some time in the last few weeks/months and somewhat today), because my reaction to abandonment is to become more independent, to say this is not a problem and to deny that I have needs that are not being met. I act as if I don't need intimacy, affection, affirmation, or to hear "I love you" every day


Ummm, what are you doing about this?


\:\) Slowly

A Liberal Allowance of Time