Here's a summary of my sitch...I'm 27 and my H is 28. We were high school sweethearts. We have been together 11 years and married for 5 years. We have been fighting infertility problems for 3 long years but other than that were a genuinely happy couple.
H went on a guys weekend and met OW (age 29). She pursued him and sunk her claws in and hasn’t let go since. She’s desperate and conniving and he’s the only one that doesn’t see it. It was a one-night stand gone wrong. Their A started in 10/06. He started acting differently right away. He was mean and picked me apart. I couldn’t do anything right no matter how hard I tried. He disclosed the affair to me 11/06 and moved out a week later and we have been separated ever since. He started househunting with OW after knowing her 3 weeks. He bought a house with OW. He quit his job of 5 years, left me, left his home that he built, left his family...everything that he has ever known in 2 months time to move 3 hours away and live with OW and start a "new" life. There's only one way to describe it....He ran and tried to hide from the damage that he caused. I believe his ego got us into this mess and his pride is keeping us from getting out of it. He's still running...he's still living with OW....so I'm done.
He has discussed reconciling multiple times over the last 8 months, but it never amounted to anything. He even had one false start home in January but backed out and the only reason that he gave me was "it didn't feel right". He’s miserable...he’s talked about suicide...he’s depressed...the list goes on and on. I gave him my whole heart...I offered him forgiveness and a second chance, but he wasn’t man enough to take it. He’s destroying his own life and he destroyed his life with me, but I am picking of the pieces of my broken heart and broken life and one way or another I’m going to make it. I signed the D papers last week, so it is all just a matter of time.
Well, today I heard that I am selling my house and that a guy has to deliver the next cutting of hay to my house because the lady needs it for her horses. How these stories ever get started, I'll never know? It's crazy...I guess that is what I get for living in a small town...the rumors will never die.
Rumors happen, time will dispel them though. There was a rumor that my W hooked up with an XBF from Cali and was moving back out there to be with him. Who knows how or where they start but they do. Overtime people will see and know the truth.
The good thing about living in a close knit place is that people might talk, but people really care about you. I felt humiliated but now I see that I have support. I know another woman in my town who is going throught the same thing and I would never judge her. I have to remember that people do not judge me either. They just think my H is crazy and so is yours. Kidding. It does sound a little crazy though. Haven't these wayward Spouses seen Fatal Attraction?
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
There was a rumor that my W hooked up with an XBF from Cali and was moving back out there to be with him.
At least it was about your W...not you. I'm so glad that I work in the city. If I worked locally, I would have been exposed to a lot more rumors and trash. I think a lot of the people that are talking about us...couldn't even pick me out of a crowd without H.
MK, People do talk but a lot do genuinely care also. Majority of people would like to see a marriage work out rather than fail.
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They just think my H is crazy and so is yours. Kidding.
Everyone thinks my H is crazy! Why else would he leave me and our life...no one understands this even me.
Well, nothing has really been going on with my sitch. I'm wondering if it just calm before another storm or if everything is just going to end peacefully. I plan on emailing H this week and letting him know that his attorney should have all the paperwork and to ask him to let me know when the court date is. I also need to follow up with him on a medical insurance claim of his, so I will ask about that too.
I've been trying to keep busy. Of course, I'm still GALing. I think that I will be ready to start dating shortly after the divorce is finalized. I don't plan on jumping into a relationship, but I really would like to see what else is out there.
If you are ready, there is nothing wrong with meeting some new people. I hope you aren't in for a storm. Isn't that the worst? its hard for us to enjoy the calm, because we have been hit so many times with the storm after the calm.
You deserve a peaceful end to the hell your H put you through.
I know I do. I'm doing good given the circumstances. I deserve better...I need to keep saying that or I might forget. Deep down, I still don't want an end, but I know that is what is best at this point. I will get over him and on with my life...it's just going to take some more time. I've been doing things right so far...I've got to keep doing things right.
Does anyone know of any good books that deal with divorce, grieving, and getting on with your life? I have stayed away from the self-help books for a while, but I think it might do me some good to read one now.
