I am so sorry!! Sometimes when my H is gone, it feels better, like I am forced to do things on my own. When he comes back (from even a small errand), it reminds me of all that is hard in my life right now.
I am where you are, am trying to fix things because I believe in giving it my all, and I do love who my H was before all of this. But sometimes I don't know what I want either.
You are already a better person, stronger, smarter, more aware of yourself. You will keep being all of those things for yourself and your son.
Being lonely is so very hard, especially if its a new feeling. Take care.
