I'm glad to see you here in piecing! I fully understand how hard it is to trust. I'll be honest, I've learned nothing is permanent and can always change. My husband, or any guy I'm with could cheat on me (Gosh, is there a guy who has NEVER cheated??? Sometimes I wonder!!!). I think the key to this is not in trusting that it won't happen again, but in focusing on yourself and trusting that you are going to be able to get through whatever challenges life presents. Give love freely, be positive, a good listener, create a great family and that way you will know that you did whatever you could to make things work, you are an absolute gem, and he's sooooo lucky to have such a great wife and amazing family... and if he flubs it again you can feel sorry for him for throwing away something very valuable and special...
Now, the cell phone... Should his cell phone be completely personal? What do others think about that? I don't think it should be. A husband or wife should be able to look at each others cell phones. The only reason it wouldn't be is if you are hiding something. Aud, I think when you saw that message about the ticket you should have replied, "Sorry to hear that" and then added "-Your Name." That way OW realizes that your marriage doesn't have secrets, the cell phone is a family phone and she's less likely to try and entice your husband with a secret friendship that has potential for affair.
The key to an affair is secrecy and a poor sense of boundries. If your husband is worried this could happen again maybe it's because he has a hard time setting those boundries. He probably really likes "just being friends" with women, maybe helping women friends, but keeping these relationships secret and becoming too involved is a potential affair. By eliminating secrets, bringing YOU into any female friendships, I think that may help reduce the risk of another affair.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
