New and confused

[Willing NJ H]

Puddle, Sorry your feeling so bad, I know that pain very well. I don't know if it's right, but I had my own way of handeling htat type of sitch. I told my W that i'd love to be friends if we don't make it, but that I know I couldn't and would probably harbor ill feelings toward her if we ended like this. I said if we end like this, when I never knew there were things that bothered her and that she just decided to tell me its over, I couldn't promise that i'd be ok with her. I said the only way that I could do that, is to know that the two of us kept outsiders out of our life, and we exhausted every option to ensure that ending our M was the only answer (especially since our D is involved.) I told her that if we exhausted all resources (both having open minds that it could go either way), and we ended up divorcing, I would be ok with that.