CVA - Angels vs. Devils

[Not Much Left]

Rain
Worked out and went to church. Not much else other than finishing up power washing.

I feel so good physically that all I want to do is get ripped again. I used to work out twice a day, and how I met my wife 18 years ago.

I have been sitting here all weekend (not sitting, just by myself) and thinking about this:

I am 44, if the M goes belly up, I am wondering (OK, afraid) that it will be nearly impossible to find a woman with either (i) kids I can get along with or (ii) if she is younger and wants kids, I am too old for that. I swore that when my dad died (he had me at 42) that I would not subject my kid to having this old cogger (sp?) as a dad. Anyway, I am afraid of getting involved with a woman who has all this baggage (ex H or whatever), seems like people are SO jaded these days, and I really am coming to the conclusion that I DONT understand woman and will be leary of all of them Will she want me for me?, money? too clingly? not clinging enough(current sitch), whatever, you get my point.


ALL WOMAN READING THIS, PLEASE HELP? I think that if I had some thought that my personal life might be OK after a D, I could detach more. My W is 37 and as I have said here before, a knockout so she will have no problem attracting a man, which is why I think she now thinks it is OK to walk away. She is hot, will have money, what does she need me for?

OK, no more pity party, just sitting here and have not heard from W or kids since last night. Getting the feeling she really does NOT want to talk to me.

C