From my perspective Lou, him not O'ing is not a regular thing at all. The only reason I brought it up was because it clued me in to the idea that maybe we had been doing it more often than he needs lately. If it were a regular thing then maybe I would be concerned about it.
Recently we were ML and I felt kind of disconnected from what was going on for him so I said 'sometimes I feel like I'm just using you to get myself off, that nothing much is happening for you'. He said 'That's OK you can use me to get yourself off, I do that to you sometimes'. So that was good, it made me feel like it was a mutual thing. And I guess maybe it has to work that way in our R if neither of us MB. So maybe sex doesn't always have to be this big emotionally connected thing, maybe sometimes it's just about one or other of you getting your rocks off and the other one being obliging about it.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
