Well, time for a 180 for you!!!! Next time you don't have the kids... or have an evening when you can leave them for two hours (sitter, older one babysitting, etc...) I want you to dress HOT, full make-up, hair done, etc... bring a small notebook or dayplanner in your purse, go to a nice resturant (Elephant Bar, Fridays, ???), and sit AT THE BAR!!!! Don't worry, you won't be the only one alone, and even if you are you have your dayplanner or a the small notebook for journaling (hey write about your feelings about doing this!!! Problems, frustrations, anger, etc...). Then order a small meal, appetizer or salad for dinner and get a pina colada, chocolate martini, or some other yummy desert drink. If you are not used to drining only get one drink. Then relax, write, look about, if someone talks with you spark up a conversation... etc...
If you do happen to talk with anyone (male, female, couple, young, old...) just keep the conversation light, focus on the other person(s), practice the ol' social skills, ask about fun local places to go, perhaps make a new friend or two... but do avoid anything romantic for now... you are vulnerable so always keep in mind healthy boundries...
Then afterwards, head over to the book store and just walk around, find relationship books, self improvement stuff, literature, fun books, etc... and try to have a good time.
Eventually, you might want to do this with friends, or will make more friends who enjoy going out. Look for places with music to listen to or community concerts, take yourself out to fairs, events, anything remotely interesting... either alone or with the kids, or with friends. Just LIVE!!!! Try to make life fun!!!!
Now... regarding the filing of any paperwork. If he's giving you more than enough money you don't need to file anything. Keep good records of living expenses, child care, monthly bills etc... As long as he's paying for things then don't worry. The main thing at this point is that you use the time right now to develop your life. Create a GREAT ONE without him. As long as he's keeping up his financial end don't worry. In the meantime you keep great records of everything so if you have to go there you will be fully prepared.
Also, be busy when he calls, be happy, make sure he's getting the feeling that you are moving on with your life and living a really HAPPY fufilling life. Laugh a lot, smile and always say how GREAT life is!!! Talk about friends (don't say male or female)... be mysterious!!! (DBing coach stressed the mystery thing to me). It's not that you talk about a man or men... although I did mention to my husband, "Wow, I never realized I was so attractive... and how is it every guy seems to have radar and can tell when a woman is separated or divored?... Sheesh they are like flies hoovering around when they realize a woman is separated!!!" Boy that made my husband think!!! Hee hee!!! Then quickly change the subject to HIM and don't answer questions about men... of course I wouldn't get involved with anyone. I don't believe in dating until I'm divorced. It wouldn't be fair to someone else, I want to be 100% healthy before I get into any relationships, etc... But it sure is interesting to see what's out there.... hummm.....
Then let him have his fun with his "downer" girlfriend he's trying to rescue while you are happy and healthy... and in the long run, once the rescuing thing gets old, what do you think will be more attractive??? Also, be generous. Wish him well and tell him you want him to be happy. Boy, when you support them, are generous and loving then they can't use you as an excuse (or their anger at you and trying to "hold them in the unhappy marriage") for their own unhappiness and that's when they finally have to look at themselves.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
