bar...my H said those things about me also...except for the sex that got figured out back when he had an EA years earlier...but he still didn't bring up any of the other "issues" that he had...and like your H, said I wouldn't listen...and yes, he was truly fixated on the past and felt that I couldn't change...I just had to keep doing what I could for myself and eventually he noticed...
I stayed away from comments like "the two of us were in the M and both of us are responsible for what happened." because that would set him on the defensive or shut him down...I just basically took what he said...applied to myself what I could agree with and let the rest go...eventually my H figured out his part in all if...and even later on down the road accepted responsibility for his part...but this was WAYYYYYYY down the road...
Thank you for your gladness in my situation...it was a long hard road to get here and it helped talking to others that were going through it and the few that I found that succeeded...it isn't easy which is why I try and encourage all that I can...and share my experience with those I can relate to...
