You're getting so much terrific advice and support! Reading this thread has been extremely helpful to me, and I know that you must be feeling the good vibes coming your way.
It is so painful to be shot down twice, with this whole sad cycle of despair-hope-complacency-despair. My H and I are on our second separation. He has filed for D and that is where we are going, with me dragging my feet the whole way.
You don't have to have the same result. My DB'ing efforts were always undermined by my irritation (OK, fury) at being continually tricked and cheated on.
It's been interesting, though, and even educational, to observe the subtle back and forth pulling and pushing that's gone on all during our 10-month separation. When I didn't want him, he wanted me. And I was at my most insulting. When I wanted him, he didn't want me--and HE was at his most insulting. All of us mamas have seen the same strange phenomenon with two children and a toy. So it's good to know, for those of us who want to stay forever young, that we just might.
If you can truly let your husband figure out whatever in hell it is he needs to figure out--while leaving him room--while treating him kindly, but distantly--while taking your fabulous picnic out where he can glimpse it occasionally (thanks, Nomo, for that analogy!)...if you can manage all that, then I don't see why you can't have a good shot at succeeding.
I DO wish you luck, and I'm standing right behind you, girl. And I'll keep reading so I can learn, too.
