DGM - detaching, GALing, moving on...

[JMC]

I guess this is an attempt at journaling online (I have begun a written journal as well). Incredibly down. I have been dark for 12 days and broke my no-snoop streak of three weeks only to find she has been communicating with the guy she met on her girl’s weekend in July. He evidently is in Afghanistan and they have essentially been emailing Penthouse Forum letters to each other and she has sent him numerous nude photos of herself to him, to which he writes back how he 'enjoyed' himself to them.

I am just crushed. She evidently had sex with him in the back of some stranger’s pickup bed. This is no way near anything like the woman I married and enjoyed a 'mostly' great relationship with for 13 years.

I have been crying randomly for about a week now (after six months separation). I am going to see a counselor this week and hope to meet with a priest as well.

I still just can not get over the fact that this is happening, and besides all of this I still hold out hope that our marriage can survive. I read all the success stories; otherwise I am sure I would give up hope. However, I wonder if I am being naive and should just throw in the towel? She has still talked about going to dinner/lunch, but not since late July.

I have been getting a life. Since the bomb drop I have attended mass regularly, begun working out more regularly, and trying to keep busy.

She has still talked about going to dinner/lunch, but not since late July. I am wondering if I should file for divorce. I had always wanted to wait for her to file so she can actively go through the process.

Any thoughts? I would appreciate any prayers as well. Thank you all.