please help with advice, new here, H in mlc

[Not w/o Hope]

HBT
If you have read the resources remember that they become someone we don't know or opposite. I have made some of those changes and she didn't know how to react, she ran back to her C. She went from telling me she was leaning towards divorce to asking for MC together within an hour.

but its the (lack of) marriage commitment and dedication to it that blows me away. He was such a moral and honorable person;

My W too was this person, always there to help family or friends, condemning those who leave their marriage and not work at it. She always told everyone that marriage isn't easy all the time, you have to work at the hard parts. I guess I should have seen the opposite in her, close friends have been having problems in their marriage because of drinking on his part. Everyone else gave up even his best friend, my W told me not to get involved. Well too bad I did w/o her knowing and today he gets out of treatment. My W will never understand because the day she blew up telling me she never wanted me to call or see her is the same day my friend hit rock bottom. I was there for his wife and kids, and him when he needed someone to talk to. I pushed my sitch aside and helped them even thou I was hurting.

No one knows how their sitch will turn out, I know how I want mine to but that is up to her. It will be the same with you, each day you will become stronger, but you have to work at it. This take effort on your part.

my d in the same room oblivious to my pain.

The kids know what is going on and are afraid of the out come. They might not express it to you or know how to show the emotions they do know something is very wrong. They know that you are hurting, they are as well. Take care of yourself so you can take care of them. They are looking to you to be that rock, it will be hard but you must push aside some of your hurt each day for them. Leave your grief for the night when you are alone, it will get better over time.

If you have not gone to C you may want to consider it, I never thought that I needed it, ever. Now I look forward to these sessions.