CVA, Thanks again for your advice, and yes I agree that we men are fixers, and that quality is one that I have had a hard time trying to hold back. I've wanted to fix this, since it happened, and have been working on it, then realized that to fix it, I have to fix me, first. And that part, while the repair is going good, is not up to par, just yet. I know that I can't move back in with my wife, this time. I have to go it alone, for a while, and prove to myself, that I can make it, without her.
So I totally understand about things moving too quickly, if the same problems within one's self still exist, then the chances of things breaking again, is a very good one. My W, knows that I do not want to move back in with her, I would rather, when the time is right, have her move in with me. but first we have to remain friends, get rid of the OM, and all other biased outsiders (parents, friends, co workers, etc.) of the equation as much as possible. and rebuild our love for one another. That is going to take some time, the baby steps help, to reassure me, but I know that it still could be years, before we are a family, again.
I am just going to continue doing what I've been doing, working on me, being a father to my kids, being friends with her, letting her come to me, helping her when I can, holding on to my faith, and letting her make her own decisions, even though, I know that the hardest part, will be watching her fall, which is inevitable, and probably coming toward the end of the year, as she gets closer to term with the baby. No matter whose baby it is, I still love her, Though, at this point, I don't really think anyone, including the W, is really sure whose it is. (talk about your perfect Maury show storyline, hope I don't get dragged on there, in front of the world, LOL) What I do know is that the OM, is not really claiming it, doesn't even act like it's his, doesn't/hasn't been helping her with the medical bills, or any bills for that matter, other than the ones, that benefit him for his own selfish needs, like her car insurance (They put his new car in her name, so she could get cheaper insurance on it, because of her age, so to pay his, he has to pay hers) and cellphone, (I told her to give back the cellphone that I got her, So I believe to keep tabs on her, he went out and got her one, but according to the kids, only he and her mom, have the number) She told me all of that, it came straight from her mouth, and it is what the kids have been telling me it for quite a while, now. So I know it's the truth.
