It's more validating if a man conveys "Seeing you in that dress really turns me on." but it's more sexy if a man comprehends "Wearing that dress must really turn you on.". Of course, the communication must go both ways.
Yes! because it displays more empathy on the part of the man, he is putting himself in your shoes - or dress! And feeling how sexy it must make you feel.
If I dress up in lingerie it makes me feel horny, I don't do it to make H feel horny, although I guess he thinks I do it for him. Back when we'd only been married 2 or 3 years I used to do that kind of thing. Walk around in sexy lingerie with only a robe over it, let the robe slip open every now and then. He absolutely hated it. Too much pressure as far as he was concerned. So maybe I was doing it wrong. The thing about my H is he does seem to think EVERYTHING is about him. So in his mind I could only possibly be wearing the lingerie for him and not for myself. That's when he would feel the pressure and it would lower his drive.
Maybe I should start doing it again, but when he complains just say "what makes you think I'm doing this for you?"
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
