LET HER LEAD! It's not that I think your ideas are bad, nor your intentions...Not at all. But if you go in with a plan, you're likely to dominate the conversation and, even if you choose your words carefully, she's likely to stop listening if she feels that this is all about what YOU need.
If she seems unwilling to initiate the conversation, then use your "Please don't hold anything back..." line. Listen and respond, but don't lead the conversation. If she doesn't give you the opportunity to say some of the things on your list, don't take the opportunity. Let it slide. Don't let your immediate desires get in the way of your ultimate goal. I know that you REALLY want to move back in, but try not to ask for it and push for it. I guarantee she knows that you want that. She doesn't need a reminder. This is the perfect chance for you to show her some real changes. Give her credit for being smart enough to know what you want. Validate her feelings. Nothing more.
You might even get a chance to use some reverse psychology. This is just my opinion and there are no guarantees, but if all goes as planned, I think, at best, this would be some very powerful reverse psychology and at worst, be really good DB skills. If she says something like, "Well, maybe you could move back in...", instead of getting excited, let it go. Say something like "If you're not sure yet, maybe I should wait a few more weeks. It's a big risk for you." If you have the chance, it will probably be the hardest, most unnatural thing you ever say. But remember to keep your eye on the ultimate goal. The best thing that would happen would be that she sees that you truly care about HER feelings and tells you that she's sure she wants you to move back in. The worst thing I see happening, is that she says, "Maybe you're right. Maybe we should wait a bit longer." And I know that would crush you, BUT, that'll be a big change you're showing her. And, if she's that easily dissuaded, then she wasn't really ready anyway. She will respect the balls that it took for you to say that. And, in the long run, wouldn't you rather wait a few more weeks and come back to comitted, open arms, than for her to be unsure and reluctant?
This will be a hard conversation. And if you do everything right, it will be even harder. The upside is that, if you do everything right, I'd be surprised if she didn't begin to show more interest in spending time with you. She's going to have it in the back of her mind, that you are truly respecting her and you have truly changed into a more loving partner. She will probably want more evidence, though...Especially if you remain separated. So I would think she would begin to try to spend more time with you to see if your attitude sticks. If that's the case, make sure that it does.
Don't look at this conversation as a chance to fix everything. Look at it as a chance to open a door or plant a seed. I know it looks easy on paper, but it won't be, but I think DB skills at this meeting have the potential for a huge impact, even if it doesn't grab her immediately.
I don't know for sure that it will come to this, but wouldn't it be great if you stayed separated another month and she said, "I really want you to move back in. We can do this if we work together."? Wouldn't that be worth the wait and the effort?
Keep your eye on the BIG goal, my friend. The big goal won't come now, but what you do now can get you there faster.
