Need advice. Snooped, discovered infidelity.

[Have Faith]

Bar

What I am referring to is if you never lay your cards on the table, your H and you will never had the opportunity to talk through what and why the A happened. My H would not talk to me about his EA some ten years ago, because at that time I only had assumptions and a small amount of evidence. Since we were back together after a brief 3 week separation and things were going well, I did not force the issue. The whole ordeal was swept under the rug. I have since found 2 more EA's. One being right b/4 the one he is currently in. Until this last one, the others did not seem to go very far. This one is a different case and because of e-mail, (which is how I found out about both of them at the same time. I had all the evidence that I needed to confront him. He still denied it until I actually took him to the computer and showed him all that I had read. He finally fessed up (what else could he do).

So what I'm saying is if you ever want an open and honest relationship with your H, you need to at some point require him to confess his past sins and if he doesn't come clean then expose him to what you know.

I have done this with my H and while I don't know how all of this will end, I do know that if our M is to survive this, he knows the rules and what it will take for me to hopefully trust him someday.

I hope that helps.

Faith