Am I climbing a ladder to a secure marriage or on an escalator to nowhere?
I ask myself these questions all the time, Aud! I have no answer yet. I also had conditions on getting back together which were mostly ignored, with excuses why it couldn't be met. Maybe one shouldn't have conditions, but see how things go, and re-assess every couple of years. Then, one day, when you feel you still cannot trust, then leave the M and not look back. At least, that's how I am trying to.
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I'm not afraid to be on my own, but I am afraid to throw away my children's chance at this intact marriage.
Other than the fact that I do love my H, this is another reason I stayed. I too, am not afraid to be alone, but there's more than just my life to consider.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I also had conditions on getting back together which were mostly ignored, with excuses why it couldn't be met. Maybe one shouldn't have conditions, but see how things go, and re-assess every couple of years. Then, one day, when you feel you still cannot trust, then leave the M and not look back. At least, that's how I am trying to. 
