Separated from WAW

[dlt1]

Ok here is 1st draft of what I want to say to W tomorrow.
It seems way too long?

"I understand the huge risk you would be taking to work on our marriage with me. After the pain I have caused you, this is no small favor I am asking for you to allow yourself to be open and vulnerable again. I am committed to you and understand why you may be hesitant. I want to be here for you while you explore your own personal issues. If you need more time for yourself before really thinking about us, I understand and support you. I will wait and give you space, or be hear to hold your hand and just listen to you. I am not looking for any guarantees. I just want to be sure we have no regrets of not trying hard enough years down the road.
Please don’t hold back anything for fear of hurting me. I have accepted that this will hurt, whether we make it or not. It will be painful at times. I am embracing that pain because I know I have to share my feelings with you and with myself.
I held back my emotions because I did not want to hurt you. I see how that came across to you that I did not care. W, I love you and care for you so deeply. I did not do things the right away, but what I did was because I thought it was right and because I love you. Then, when I was realizing that my displays of affection were not what you wanted, I had no idea what else to, so I kept at it. Out of frustration I kept doing the wrong thing! I look back and can’t believe that was me…but it was. And I am so sorry for not making you feel loved. I told myself, “I’m not like other guys, I don’t need a lot of sex. I kept convincing myself that my needs were not important as long as I wasn’t upsetting you or fighting with you. You said something that really made a bell go off for me. You said, “We never had make up sex.” You’re right! I avoided confrontation at all costs because I thought that was my job. I know now that I was just bottling it up, then I would withdraw and not talk until it passed. Thus, the cycle of you taking this as me not giving a damn continued. I think it would be good for us to set a specific ‘talk time’ every week when we can each air our grievances and happiness. A time we know is just for that. A time that isn’t coupled with another activity, like between commercials. A time where we express our own needs out in the open. No hesitations, don’t worry about what each other may think or react. We need to be open and honest. W, I also would like for you to tell me what needs you feel I was not meeting.

If you’ll let me, I will make you more loved than you ever imagined. This I know, but I can’t just tell you this, it will take time to rebuild that trust and really believe that I am not going to slip back to my old bad habits.

I am afraid that seeing each other once a week is not enough. I feel like that is just enabling us to accommodate to being without each other. I would like to move back in, perhaps in separate bedrooms. If you’re not prepared for this, I do understand. No matter what the situation, I would like to write out a contract just like the separation books says. Covering everything from duration, to holding hands.
Finally, I have rediscovered how I like doing things around the house. I’d like to do more."

Please, any feedback would be great. Be brutal