Great idea on the flowers. I have placed the order.
Late yesterday, the ex and our son went to see a movie. My son asked if I was going and I told him to enjoy some alone time with his mom.....that we needed to give her a break from entertaining two men. The ex did not say anything.
After the movie, she called and asked if I would like to meet them for dinner. I told her I would pass, to have fun with our son and I would be home when they returned. She said I would like for you to join us....so I did. We had a nice dinner, came back home and played board games......family night if you will.
For those of you reading my story. Suit is absolutely right that R talk is a big no no. My ex and I do fine when we talk about our past R, sharing what we were looking for and how certain things hurt or made us feel. Any talk of the future though results in a negative reaction. I am hopeful when she opens up and shares with me the things that she was looking for back then is her way of telling me what she needs from me in the future. It has been extremely difficult to figure her out as she has never been one to openely discuss her feelings. Much of it is not understanding them enough to express them.
My amateur diagnosis is she still harbors some resentment that I did not offer certain things during our M. She has commented on some changes I have made and asked why am I doing that now when I wouldn't do them before. Each time she begins to feel a draw towards me in her heart, the brain begins reminding her that in some way she was short changed and bitterness sets in. I believe this is where the back and forth attitude comes from.
As for me and the OM. It doesn't really matter about him in the big scheme of things. I don't have any resentment towards the ex for what happened in the past but I feel jealousy that it still exists. I need to find ways to deal with that aspect of it.
