There and Back, #2

[mkultra]

Haha! Our imaginations are worse than reality! If they are sleeping in someone elses' bed it probably is awkward and on its last leg. Who cares. We could have done the same thing with a coworker or new guy, but we have class and we are Moms and wive=s first. They will always know that and so will our kids when they are grown.

Sometimes I think wallowing is good. It keeps us creative. Ya know, before this tragic sitch I never thought about sex or finishing a script or calling my ex boyfriend or dying my hair. Maybe that is my MLC but damn it I feel more alive now than when I was in a dead marriage with a man who did not show me respect and maybe I did not respect.

Don't get me wrong, I want an intact family, a loving marriage for life, and my soul mate to return healthy, but I also feel like a stronger, better person now. I appreciate things I took for granted before. I know he sees the changes too.

Fall is my favorite time of year. It will be both of our birthdays in Fall. We'll be getting older as his girlfriend stays young and in her stupid early 20's. Yesterday I showed him these expensive papers that swipe the shine from your nose. They look just like toilet seat covers! We both have oily skin. I joked how I need them because my wrinkle cream makes my face look so shiny now. He joked that he had a deep wrinkle and a much shinier face than me. We both had really bad acne as teens but we saw past that as we were so in love. See! We are the same age! Catch a clue. We were supposed to grow old together and joke about our aging bodies together!

I also have a hard time believing my H is with someone old enough to be our love child but Hey, I see soooo many famous celebrities doing that. I used to make fun of Tom Cruise and Eddy Vedder for leaving accomplished peers in their 40's for ditzy women in their 20's. I guess we could do the cliche thing too and marry rich older sugar daddies. That would be so stupid.