When you begin to live in an unfused way it feels like a breath of fresh air. Last nite my H wanted to ML and I just did not have a shred of sexuality to work with, and I turned him down. Now this is huge, because I have made a mental note to myself never to reject him and to push through when I am feeling LD. And most of the time I am happy afterwards, but there have been times where I just felt overextended. Last nite I really felt my boundaries and knew my limit and I turned him down. And as mrs.cac says, the sky did not fall. I worked through the fusion to get to a place where I feel I try to do the right thing, but sometimes I have to do the right thing for myself. I felt free of the guilt that has plagued me from my past LD behavior.
Incidentally, in the middle of the night I suddenly got horny, and I think it was a result of this psychological freeing. So I took my panties off and somewhere early morning H got the message!
I am really thinking that this whole fusion/differentiation Schnarch-type stuff is just so on track. It's like I installed anti-fusion scanware into my brain. Unfortunately it makes the simplest of decisions much more complicated as I try to work through what's fused and what's not. I guess as I know myself better this will get easier.
