Hi Lin! I'm jumping the gun really; thinking: what if H goes, what if H comes back, what if I've moved on blah blah. Trust is a big issue with me. I'm M 30 years and cannot remember a time when he was not around. We built a good life eventually after some staggering ups and downs and we had plans for the future. Now H wants a new life and he is prepared to sacrifice my life to get what he wants. Trust will always be an issue. We are tied emotionally and financially. If H is determined to destroy it all then I want him to take the responsibility for leaving.
That's why I sometimes wish he would leave but I don't push him away. If it all happens and he came back one day, trust would still be an isse. I'm coming to realise that my life is more important than him or the M. Why should I self-destruct to prove my love? I thought I had an open and honest M for thirty years but he says he'd been thinking about leaving for years. All those years I trusted and trusted and look now; it counts for nothing. My trusting attitude helped him to build a new life, new friendships (all women) and eventually to find 'the love of his life.'
So yes I will be wary and cautious in the future.
I'm so glad your H came back. How do you deal with trust issues?
Me 54 H58 M 30 living together Bomb 01/12/07 grown up son
