I hope you and your troops are well. I read your last post a few days ago and have been mulling it over. I strongly believe you need to keep the lines of communication open. No matter where the relationship goes in the future you will have to be able to communicate in a civil manner for the sake of your children.
That being said, I never had any luck discussing relationship issues over the phone with my W. If I would pause to think of an appropriate answer my wife would interpret the pause as something negative. So I would just try to speak with her over family business issues and do it quickly and to the point.
Try to focus on your mission over there. I think your W still has not faced what a divorce will mean to her. Right now she is at home, with the kids, and enjoying the good things you have provided through your work and sacrifices. She has no reason to do any serious self examination. She still has the lifestyle she was use to.
On the self examination issue, I think my wife is starting down that road. Over the summer she had a falling out with her mother and has not spoken to her since. So now my W speaks with none of her own family. Last week my W said she wanted to take the joint counseling session we had for herself to discuss with the counselor the difficulty she is having with her mother. She also said she would be really interested what Shelly (my psychologist) had to say. So I think she has finally reached the point to where she is receptive to working on herself. I hope that this continues to her evaluating her prescription med use.
