From what I see occur, when a women does it intentionally and it works, she loses respect for the guy she is 'testing' with it. However I see that Mojo qualified it in a later post. To be clear, Im not against the book she is recommending, but it has to be done for your own reasons, not to control your partner. like she said here,
I actually think you would really enjoy the book. The author combines the concepts of adding excitement (as I described above), emotional intimacy (a la Schnarch) with a lot of very interesting (to a woman) information about male sexual physiology. So he tries to encourage the female reader to take actions that will help link their partner's penis to his whole body, his heart and his mind through each stage of arousal.
I don't agree that women lose respect for men who respond when they intentionally tease unless they are just doing it in order to get validation and not to aid or express their own arousal. I just sent NG an email in which I described my little black dress in a rather teasing manner. The reason I did this is because I think I look hot in my little black dress and I wanted to share that vibe with him. Maybe what you are trying to convey is that women lose respect for men who offer validation in response to such behavior instead of recognizing it as a sign of arousal or desire. It's more validating if a man conveys "Seeing you in that dress really turns me on." but it's more sexy if a man comprehends "Wearing that dress must really turn you on.". Of course, the communication must go both ways.
Quote:
Of course, the greater the anxiety a man needs to overcome to be sexual, the more self-confident a woman needs to be. (easy to say rare to see)
True enough. It's much easier to be confident with a confident man. Not so much because he lends you confidence but rather because he gives you a space in which you can display whatever confidence you own. I don't need a man to spin me as long as he can offer a frame in which I can spin. The book I am recommending is actually sort of a manual which would allow a woman to help her partner build the frame. Definitely a confidence builder. I'm sure the companion book for men "She Comes First" would be excellent too.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
