I'm new to posting but have been reading the threads for about two years. I consider myself LD but only in the idea that I am lesser drive than my H, not low drive or no drive. Anyway the questions I have:
1. I agree with the "use it or lose it" but how long would you say it takes on average to lose it? It seems after three days of no sex, I lose it. 2. I find sex without desire to be mediocre but how do you get desire back without "just doing it" ?
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. (Amy Bloom)
Exercise. Hard Exercise. Most of the "experts" I have read will as step one, tell the LD woman to immediatly get into a strenuous exercise routine. This should boost your testsoterone as well as create confidence and a stronger body image. In addition, the other way to boost sex drive for women is to have LOTS of sex. This will change your bodies chemistry, and boost your testosterone. This means having sex EVERYDAY for several months.
Testosterone is the ONLY known aphrodisiac, so if you want to change your desire, you have to change your testosterone level.
Cemar, Back a couple years ago after I first got on the board and had some early success with MrsGGB, we did have sex every day for a couple of months. That did little or nothing to increase her desire, so I wouldn't count on that doing the trick.
I think Corri et al have a better read on it; desire comes in part from the chemistry created by cool confidence. I think that does a lot more than amped up testosterone does.
Testosterone is the ONLY known aphrodisiac, so if you want to change your desire, you have to change your testosterone level.
Well, as you can imagine, I disagree. Come on Cemar, really, is that how you think? No wonder your W can't meet up to your expectations if the only reason you think she is LD is because of her testosterone levels.
Maybe you would like us all to take testosterone supplements, so we can grow beards, belch and pass gas a lot too - then maybe you would think we have enough of a sex drive?
Pleeeeeezzzzz
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Testosterone is the ONLY known aphrodisiac, so if you want to change your desire, you have to change your testosterone level.
REALLY Dr CeMar? Exactly how is it that you can justify saying that to a WOMAN? You are perhaps the least qualified person I can think of to tell a woman what aphrodisiacs will work for her. I can think of several aphrodisiacs that work for women, they key is...the woman has to be in the right frame of mind for them to work.
LikeIt Hot, have you tried flirting throughout the day? Intentionally making some subtle sexual gestures towards your H? Stuff like that throughout the day, if you both do it...can get YOU revved up and in the right frame of mind for later in the day/evening. I've found my desire is directly linked to my frame of mind...and well, since I've discovered that I know I can usually do things that will help to get me in that right frame of mind. I may have to start the flirting, but usually my H will join in throughout the day.
Exercise. Hard Exercise. Most of the "experts" I have read will as step one, tell the LD woman to immediatly get into a strenuous exercise routine. This should boost your testsoterone as well as create confidence and a stronger body image. In addition, the other way to boost sex drive for women is to have LOTS of sex. This will change your bodies chemistry, and boost your testosterone. This means having sex EVERYDAY for several months.
Testosterone is the ONLY known aphrodisiac, so if you want to change your desire, you have to change your testosterone level.
Cemar - Why did I know you would be the first to reply?? Anyhow, I think you missed something in my question. Honestly it is my fault as I was too vague. I would have sex EVERYDAY if it was possible but occasionally I get turned down or schedules don't permit and before we know it three days have gone by and then it's like well...and I do it to get back the desire but it's not necessarily out of desire on that first encounter. So I guess I was asking if other people find that three days is long enough for their interest to drop? I wonder why my desire drops so quickly? Is three days that long? And I can guaranty you my lack of desire has NOTHING to do with confidence or body image! Also I don't want to just change my desire to be horny 24/7 but to make sure I desire my H, there is a difference to me. YOU should understand this, isn't that what you want from your W?
Last edited by LikeItHot; 08/10/0709:46 PM.
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. (Amy Bloom)
You probably have hit one of the problems. When the desire goes down it is because we have had hectic days where there has not been time to flirt or tease each other, occasioanlly there are days we don't see each other during awake hours. I know my LL is QT, but my "lovebank" shouldn't dry up in a matter of days?
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. (Amy Bloom)
Sometimes your love bank can simply feel empty because you are lacking something that IS your love language...even for just a few days...you know the absence of it somehow makes a resounding echo within you, which in turn makes your desire plummet. It could in a way be a silent resentment on your part...one that you don't actually recognize as resentment, but it shows up in your drained libido.
I find that on my really busy days I can STILL find some way to flirt with my H...whether it's that I send some racy text messages, or leave a suggestive photo somewhere he will find it (but that's still private and for his eyes only)...you don't have to be AROUND him to flirt with him.
Ooooh!! I like the text message thing!!! DUH!! I didn't think of that. THANKS!!! Geez, I really hope it's not resentment, I don't think it is... I'm going to have to really think about that.
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. (Amy Bloom)
How many kids do you have? Do you work full time? Commute? How is your general stress level? free time/obligations/priorities/finances/mental noise Does your desire level change during time off/weekends/vacations?
If you have a ongoing 'issue' with who initiates you can mentally schedule it. Desire is an ongoing issue for me, (I asked cemar for help with it one time and he declined) and most of my sex is 'scheduled'.
