HBT Sounds like you are starting to get things together; there will be bad days and good days and those days where you go from one to the other. Stay strong for the kids they will need you to be there, looks like you are doing that with your D. I found that it will bother them that you are doing things with them, it did my W. funny thing is it was everything we did before she just didn’t realize it. Some say this is a journey that THEY go on and everyone has to go along with, not that we want to but they just take us along not telling us where we are going. Just this morning I received a phone call from the "old" person that I knew. She wanted to setup a joint C session. Was even able to talk about the argument that caused her to take off her ring, but I stopped her telling her we could save it for C. I didn't want to start another argument because that is where it usually ends up. I'm not sure this was in any of you’re posts, do not start any R talk to try and fix things, try to avoid it when he brings it up. They like to justify what they are doing and will bait you into an argument it pushes them farther away. I fell for this a few times and each time it was her issue and she was able to project the problem onto me. I hung up the phone wondering to myself how the heck did she do that. My oldest daughter has even wised up, W started something with D and tried to project the problem onto her. D told her it was her issue and to deal with it she walked away leaving her crying on the beach! D also told her that she would no longer relay messages to me for her. Other issues such as finances you have to stand your ground but if the conversation turns to R talk be careful. Each time I started on the R to “fix it” it only caused anger and bitterness and she withdrew further. Our talk this morning was very civil, she still relies on me to do all the things I did before like the bills and other household stuff. Maybe being alone all this weekend and the space and time I gave her since July 8th has helped. Hardest thing I have ever done was to break all contact with someone I have talked to every day for over 20 years. But maybe this will allow her the time to think and figure some of her issues out. I used my very close friends during this time when ever I had problems, I felt sorry for them some times because of how I was dumping on them.
Stay strong you will land on your feet.
"Worry is the price you pay for most of the things in life that never happen"
