Things continue to go well and I am so hopeful and optimistic right now \:\)

On his overnight trip Wednesday, he left me 2 voicemails and an email. 4th contact, I answered the phone and it was a quick hello as he was between meetings. 5th call I answered, it was another quick hello as he was between dinner and drinks. 6th call I answered, and we talked about an hour, not R stuff. Then must goodbye, get some sleep, afraid he'll be tired at our MC appt tomorrow. This is A LOT OF CONTACT, more than when things were fine 10 years ago and way more than last 6 months.

Yesterday morning, he called from the airport to let me know he got in okay and would see me tonight. With only 1 minute left before the MC appt, he called to say he was having trouble finding the place. Phew! I was waiting anxiously, pretty sure that he was skipping out, but didn't want to call/pressure him. Glad I didn't. He made it.

He did most of the talking, offered up the "readers digest", and during/after, said he hoped he wasn't talking over me at all. I was happy to hear him speak though! I agreed with his assessment but interjected "I have a bit of a different perspective on that" from time to time. In the end, it was an "assessment" appointment as an employee assistance program through my work so we won't be seeing that MC again. She thought we had a strong foundation to rebuild our M and is going to be in touch with a referral so long as we are both committed to this, and we both agreed that we are.

Went straight home and talked. He wanted to clear up that he doesn't remember saying he wasn't in love any more; he thought he said and/or meant to say that he isn't sure about that.

One thing I told him was that one of my top 1 or 2 needs was his complete honesty. H: didn't know that. M: don't want to dwell in the past and agree with him to think present/future as we work on our M but... I KNOW he has done some terrible things and has lied and I am/will have trouble working on M so long as he doesn't come clean with me. Before I could continue my explanation, he interrupted: Okay, I'll make a list of things I'm not proud of.

Wow! I thanked him and didn't push it any further, no timetable, etc. I will try to be patient. Again, obviously, I haven't fessed up to my snooping. Planned to tell him that I "know things" and won't tell him what/how I know because I don't want him crafting some half-truth that allows him to answer/lie to meet it. He's very good at that sort of thing.

Some time last week, he invited me to a colleague's going-away party that is tomorrow, although he said at the time that his instinct was that he did not want me there. So I asked last night if I was still invited; he had not said when/where.

H: Of course. Please understand I might be a little weird and don't read too much into it. Since I haven't been going out lately, they've been teasing "problems at home, eh?" so now when I show up at a work-related thing with my wife when no other spouses are there, it's going to be obvious and I'm already anxious about it. But it's okay, our M is more important and I really don't care what they think but I will be a little weird.

From super-secret to full disclosure and commitment. Am definitely feeling lucky and loved.