Can't think of anything helpful to say at the moment other than that you're stronger than you're feeling at the moment and that there is a lot of hope for you.
Hang in there.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY