I realized that I wanted to "borrow" some of his "semi-fame" in an artistic field and his extensive social network by being in a relationship with him. That's why I perceived him as being "cool." So, clearly I need to work more on my own creative expression and building a better social network. Really, any other thought about what you might "need" from a particular relationship for your own emotional well-being can be worked through in this manner.
This is VERY smart!
I knew this one guy who was very attractive, talented, confident, physically gorgeous, etc. (He was a gymnast and blew my mind one day by doing a handstand from a seated position.) I was so smitten with him (do people still say that?), and one day I had this brilliant insight: it wasn't that I wanted to be WITH him; I wanted to BE him.
By being with him, I somehow felt that I absorbed and then transmitted his looks, his physical grace, his confidence, etc. Very helpful insight.
